


Choking On Their Halos

by Synnerxx



Series: Tumblr Prompts [22]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Character Death, Depression, M/M, Rejection, Self-Harm, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1681049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick's leaving and he's not coming back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choking On Their Halos

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Choking On Their Halos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4369718) by [eivery_al](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eivery_al/pseuds/eivery_al)



> Written for the tumblr prompt: Patrick goes through with his dead-before-21 suicide pact despite being in the band and being in love with Pete, who's got groupies in the back of the van every night.
> 
> READ THE TAGS!

Patrick sinks into the warm bath with a sigh, closing his eyes against the soft burn of the water on his skin. He leans back, relaxing against the back of the tub and skims his fingers over the edge until he finds his razor blade. 

He drops it into the water and watches it float for a while, thinking of nothing in particular. He feels numb, but certain. He's made peace with his decision. There are no other options left to him. He's eighteen and life isn't going to get any better. He was going to wait until at least twenty, but well, why prolong the inevitable? 

He knows his mom and dad will miss him, but they'll still have Kevin. Kevin will be furious for a while, but life goes on. Eventually he'll be nothing more than a vague memory that aches in their chest and in the back of their minds. 

Andy and Joe will miss him and they'll be mad for a while, but they were successful before him and they'll be successful after him, he knows. They're talented and strong and resourceful. They'll make it through this.

Pete will blame himself and maybe he is a bit to blame, not that Patrick would ever tell him that, but he still can't shake off the hurt he felt when he told Pete that he was in love with him and Pete had laughed at first, thinking it was a joke. it wasn't a joke. Pete had sighed and clapped a hand on Patrick's shoulder, kissing his cheek before saying that he loved Patrick, but "...just not like that, 'Trick, okay? Not like that." 

He's going to do this tonight. It's a motel night, they scraped enough cash together for that, at least. Two rooms, even. Andy and Joe are across the hall, most likely already asleep from the long day. Pete's down in the van with some groupies he met after the show. It's the perfect time. 

Patrick picks up the razor blade again and presses it against his wrist. It's warm from the bath water and he decides he likes the contrast of his pale skin against the cold silver of the blade. He presses down and drags it up his arm. He knows better than to go across, knows that doesn't always work. This way will work. 

The blood wells up and runs down his arm, mixing with the bath water. He does it again, deepening the cut. More blood, more red into the water. He switches arms before that one gets too weak from the blood lost and repeats the cuts. 

They're deep and the blood is spilling fast. He leans heavily against the back of the tub. He's light headed and dizzy. He doesn't feel the sting and ache of his wrists. He's too numb for that, but he can feel the blood all around him. 

He knows that Pete will probably be the one to find him, but he apologized for that in the letter he left on the pillow of his bed. It explains everything they all need to know. 

Patrick closes his eyes, breathing slowing a bit. Distantly, he's aware of someone knocking on the bathroom door and calling his name, but he's too far away for that. He doesn't care anymore about anything. He's leaving. 

He hears the door opening and Pete's shout of panic and then of hands dragging him out of the tub, slipping on his wet skin. Pete's frantic voice gets softer the farther away Patrick gets. He's sort of aware of Pete's hands covering the cuts and pressing down, but he's too late. 

Patrick's gone.


End file.
